the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
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I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
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I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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