The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
