Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
