so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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