Pregnant stripper...not hot.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
