Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize