i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
