Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
