Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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