just survived the first fart of the relationship.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
What drink are we having for lunch?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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