Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
