my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
