Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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