i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
A bitchslap is in order.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
