Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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