Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
