I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Randomize
