Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
