worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
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