So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize