did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
