She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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