I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I believe in your delicious
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
