marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize