okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
