guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize