I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
