hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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