So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
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But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
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he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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