do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
