You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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