She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
