yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Text me some of your sweat
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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