I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
