I love black thongs
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
