I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
