Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
What a dumb baby whore.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
