we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
