Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
