marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Randomize
