so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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