Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
