I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
