FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
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