I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
