she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Randomize
