It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
