She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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