you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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