My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
