You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
