Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
