Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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