Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
