hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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