I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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