In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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