the new term for farting is butt boxing.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
