Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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