My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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