Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
