Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
